Yes, the holidays can be a great source of joy and time for family. It can be a time to celebrate and make memories. Let us not forget, however, that the holidays can also be a struggle. Memories of Christmases and holidays past can be a source of joy and sorrow. If you are co-parenting with a former spouse, there are added challenges to the holidays season and it can be a real struggle to not just survive, but to thrive during the holidays. Now that we have passed through another holiday season, we are in a new year, and now is the time to avoid those common mistakes that co-parents fall into once the holidays are over.
Mistakes Co-Parents Make Once the Holidays are Over
Comparison is the thief of happiness. Isn’t that how the saying goes? Co-parents, after the holidays, resist the urge to compare your holidays with the kids to your co-parent’s holidays with the kids. This is far easier said than done. Your kids may be going on about the presents they got and the holiday events they loved going to with the other parent. While we all want our kids to be happy, it can still be difficult to swallow. No one wins, however, when we compare ourselves to a co-parent. It can only lead to feelings of resentment and inadequacy. Neither of which are productive for your relationship with your kids or your co-parent.
You may also be tempted to make disparaging remarks about your co-parent. After all, the difficult emotions of the holidays can make them a worthy-looking scapegoat. You may be tempted to place the blame on them for making the holidays difficult and for either not doing enough for your kids, doing too much for the kids, or not taking you and your feelings into consideration. Whatever the reason you may feel compelled to put down your co-parent, try to resist. Just like comparison, no one wins when you engage in this kind of behavior. It can only work to damage important relationships.
Another mistake co-parents make after the holidays is failing to review the parenting plan and see what did and did not work over the holidays. If after seeing the parenting plan in action over the holidays, something is found lacking or not working, now is the time to seek the advice of an attorney in order to update the parenting plan accordingly. Taking action now can help ease your next holiday season by making your parenting plan more functionally sound. These things can take time and so the sooner you get this done, the better.